The Things We Think And Do Not Say

Today is my 46th birthday.  Forty-six is a lot of dang-nabbity years!

I started this first day of my 47th year with my favorite Spinning class.  You know, Spinning is the magical wormhole into the endorphin dimension.  You can keep your “E”, your 50 Shades of Grey and your 70% fair trade chcolate.  Just throw me a spin bike, some awesome music, an Israeli to yell at me, and I’m deep into the happy zone.

Then, on my walk home from Spinning, I was thinking about Jerry Maguire.  

It all started yesterday when, fueled by temperatures that topped 180 Kelvin, and some free radicalized estrogen/progesterone circulating in my boiling blood, I wrote a really long and very passionate blog post on parental culpability and responsibility for overweight children.  Luckily, before I hit the “publish” button, I decided to send the post to a friend endowed with good taste and common sense.  The subject line of my email to her read “Is this too bitchy and negative?”  To which she basically answered “Um, yes.”

I decided to shelve the post for the time being and as I logged it into my Drafts folder, I saw a looooong string of posts I have written and not published.  And I thought to myself, “Ah, these are the things we think and do not say.”

Which led me back to the movie, in which Jerry, fueled by some bad pizza, sits down and pours his heart out into a rambling and scathing Manifesto on his company’s policies.  He has, he tells us “Lost the ability to bullshit”.  

OK, so I am SO far past that point, I am not even in the dang bull pasture anymore!  There is not a bone of bullshit left in my being.  The trick though,  is how to SAY things in a way that people can HEAR and not just run screaming from me with their hands over their ears.  Which is of course what happens to Jerry.  No one wants to hear his manifesto because it makes them feel guilty.  He shines a big ole flashlight on everyone’s lack of integrity and they don’t like it one bit.

Well, it’s MY birthday and MY blog and the “things I think and do not say” are freeking CHOKING ME.  So here goes…  duck and cover dears:

• Stop waiting for “the right time”.  There is no right time.  There is only Now and The-Hell-of-Putting-it-Off-For-One-More-Day time.  Do you have any idea how many emails I get from people who write “I just love your philosophy Emily.  One day I am going to work with you when I am ready.” ?  Yeah, yeah, one day aint nevah gonna get here honey.  One, five, ten years are going to pass and you are going to be fatter, more out of shape, sicker, and turning things around is going to be even harder.  Now.  Today.  Just Begin.  GO.

Ouch!  Ooo, hurts so good.  You still with me?

• Stop waiting for the time when you will “FEEL” like making changes.  You are never going to feel like doing it, trust me.  If I did what I felt like every day I would pretty much live on a regime of cookies and couch-sitting.  Been there, done that, fun while it lasted, nearly killed me.  I don’t ever feel like going to the gym.  I generally don’t feel like running until I am several kms into it.  I certainly never woke up and said “I feel like running 42 kms today!”  I do NOT prefer lettuce to chocolate.  I do what I have to do to get what I  want to get.  Boom.

If you haven’t already listened to this @ss-kicking motivational talk by Mel Robbins, do so now and wake up fresh and tingly:  Mel Robbins in the WISH Summit HERE.

• Know your addictions.  Don’t even try to negotiate with things you cannot control.  You will lose over and over again.  Eliminate, don’t Moderate.  Life is so much more peaceful when you are not constantly trying to battle those cravings and will-power struggles.

• Stop wondering if it’s worth it.  Did you ever notice that those people who say “I would rather eat what I want even if it means living a shorter life, than moderating myself and exercising” pretty much never say that anymore once they are really sick?  That’s because most of us don’t go straight from main-lining cheeseburgers and milkshakes to peacefully dead in one day.  First we get sick.  And being sick is really, really awful.  Being sick and feeling regret is even worse.  

On the other hand, being in shape and having tons of energy?  Not too shabby!  It’s worth it.  Like, totally.

 Last one, hang in there…

• Stop blaming.  Your life = your responsibility.  Your family isn’t derailing you.  Society isn’t making it hard for you.  Your husband isn’t sabotaging your efforts.  Your busy schedule isn’t dooming you to failure.  YOU are letting those things happen!  You.  You.  You.  The people who succeed at healthy behavior change are the ones who figure out a way to do it despite their challenges.  They go to bed earlier so that they can get up earlier and pack their healthy meals.  Instead of sacking out in front of the tv, they chop their veggies in advance so that healthy options will be ready when hunger hits.  They plan in advance.  They keep track.  They LIVE ON PURPOSE, not just at the whim of the day-to-day.  

All those other people and things that you believe are obstacles in your path?  They are not the ones who will have to live in your body when you feel like crap, are burning with heartburn, bloated with gas, struggling to breath at the top of the stairs, recovering from bypass surgery, suffering through dialysis or chemotherapy.  You will be alone.  You already are.

Please read this illuminating article from Tom Venuto,  The Weight Maintenance Predictors: 13 Behaviors and Attitudes that Keep Fat Off Forever HERE  and let me just say in advance, I told you so.

OK I’m done.  You survived.

 I am not going to send this post by rational, calm editor friend today.  This is going out into the world to become the things I THOUGHT and SAID.

C’mon, you know I had you at hello… (email subscribers click the post title to enjoy the musical accompaniment)

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