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Non-Negotiable

Update:  It has come to my attention that “bonk” means something entirely different in the Queen’s English.  In Americano, it means to hit a wall or run out of steam in a very dramatic fashion.  Dirty minds ya’ll have over there!

Since the race, my running has been suffering.  I keep bonking mid-run.  I set out to do… I don’t know…  a 10K say, but after 3K or 5, I decide to walk.

The official excuse is that it’s become too hot and I don’t perform well in the heat.

But the REAL reason, is that Running has become Negotiable.

And the reason I want to discuss this today is because I listen to people negotiating with their goals every single day and you know what?  They get NOWHERE.  It’s mid-goal bonk all over the place.

Think about a goal you have right now, one you’re not making much progress on.  Perhaps it’s weight loss, or healthy eating, or exercise, or even some career or personal growth goal.  Every day you start with the best intentions, “I’m going to do this thing!  I AM.” But by the end of the day you’re scratching your head and wondering why once more, you bonked.  You derailed, your train went right off the tracks AGAIN, and you’re kicking yourself and wondering WHY in Heaven’s name, a smart person like you cannot seem to get this done?

Why?  Let’s break it down:  When you started the day, your motivation was high.  But at some point you got distracted, or tired or you just plain forgot why that goal was so important in the first place.  In other words, you started to negotiate.  ”Today’s too hot. I’m too tired.  I need to get more sleep to be able to do this. Things are too stressful right now.  I’ll start again on Sunday.  What’s one more day when I’ve been living like this for so many years…?”

When the negotiations start, I can tell you right now, you’re gonna lose.  It’s not that the other side is stronger, it’s that you showed weakness in your willingness to negotiate in the first place.  A chink in the armor is all it takes. Your doubts, fears, excuses, fatigue, and overwhelm all come rushing in and THEY. WILL. TAKE. YOU. DOWN.

This morning I set out on my run and right away, all the monkeys started their jabbering.  They didn’t even wait their usual 3K!  ”It’s too hot.  You’ll get heat stroke, and pass out, maybe even hit your head and DIE!  Besides, what difference does it make?  Walking is as good as running.  Running isn’t doing anything for you now anyway.  Your next race isn’t for 10 months so it’s too early to start training. You’ll burn out and get some sort of horrible incurable disease. ”  Blah, blah, blah and on and on and on.

But today I remembered that I do not negotiate with monkeys.  Period.

I turned off my music and addressed those little mfers head on:  ”Hey Monkeys!  Yeah you.  Today I am running a 10K.  This is non-negotiable.  I don’t give a flying fork if I pass out from heat exhaustion or catch Ebola or lose my shorts.  10K will be run.  It will be run by ME because I can and because I need to.

(Did you catch that last part?  Remember your Big Why? If not, go back and read that post, because without it, honestly you’ll forget why your goal is so important in the first place.)

I did run that 10K and then I ran another K, just because I could.

V for victory

So remember, when the monkeys call you up today and say they want to start negotiations, all you have to say is No Negotiations. Etched in Stone.  Solid as Steel.  My Way or the Highway.  In the face of your determination, they will likely choose the highway.

I was told that the folks who get these posts by email can’t see the videos I post.  So if you want to see the Bodacious Boss say what I just said but way, way better, click the post name in your email to visit the actual blog: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-YMRbh0OqM

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Comments

  1. talking of the Boss – you know what ‘bonking’ is in English English!

  2. Thanks, Emily, I needed that! Although I read it AFTER I negotiated with the monkeys to shorten my walk because my legs felt “wobbly”. :- )

    Oh and thanks for the Bruce clip. I just decided that walking with his music might help me. He is awesome and was my true love back in the ’80′s.

  3. Emily Segal says:

    Hey Dori, my favorite jewelry-maker. Bruce is MINE! OK, he’s Mia’s but I’m next in line so take a number.

    Tomorrow, no negotiations!
    love,
    emily

  4. Emily! You are Master of your monkeys and inspiring me to be, too! (I love the monkey reference — ha ha!) FANTASTIC post, I will pass it on! Thanks for letting us know about the video posts … otherwise I would have missed out on Bruce and that would have been a crying shame!
    Love
    Tzip

  5. Christy says:

    Bonking….ROFL!!!

    Such a good post, Em! You are so right. Negotiating with monkeys is the beginning of relapse.

Trackbacks

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  2. [...] that were SO unpleasant, both physically and mentally.  My muscles were aching and shaking and the negotiation monkeys were jabbering on and on in my brain:  ”I can’t do another rep.”  ”The [...]

  3. [...] foods and your life will be so much more peaceful without them in it.  Tada, Elimination.  As I have written many times before, when we stop negotiating with the terrorists in our minds and on our plates, we finally achieve [...]

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