My Favorite Posts | Triumph Wellness

Meal Planning 102: The Next Step in Kitchen Organization

July 22, 2012 by Emily Segal 1 Comment

I wrote all about my basic meal planning strategy in this post HERE.

I have a free blank meal planning template give-away HERE.

I wrote this post for another website about meal planning, with sample menus and recipes HERE.

And I have a new post coming out on TheVeganWoman about Your Healthy Vegan Kitchen, which should be up later this week.

That’s a lot of blah-blah about cooking and planning and stocking, no? As I looked at the editing room floor scraps of text that didn’t make the final Vegan Woman cut, I thought “But maybe my readers want to see things in ACTION more?” Like, less theory – more DO.

I know it is helpful to actually see what other people do in their day-to-day lives, so right now, in this hot summer weather, this is how things have been going down in my kitchen. Hope it’s helpful!

Morning:

I’m up before the sun these days! Partly I am just excited about my new apartment and cannot wait to have a cup of tea on the balcony with my morning pages and the sunrise.

I don’t have to pack kids’ lunches because they are at home this summer, but I still pack a lunch for my husband. While I’m at it, I do two other things:

Make a salad
Cut up fruit

The Salad:

It’s hot and really I don’t want much other than salad these days. I basically take this large glass bowl and just FILL IT. I put in lettuce, spinach, cabbage, cucumbers, kohlrabi, carrots, tomatoes, green onions, parsley, chopped fresh mint, sun-dried tomatoes – just really whatever we have. Then I cover it with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. It will stay fresh and crisp all day like this. I do not toss it. I do not dress it. Sometimes I even make segments of what each person likes, like this:

I serve it at both lunch and dinner – topped with different things like:

toasted sunflower seeds and pumpkins seeds
cooked beans
cooked corn
crumbled veggie burger
leftover cooked grains
salsa*
hummus*
tahina

*I am totally grooving on the combo of 1 Tbsp salsa and 1 Tbsp hummus stirred into my salad instead of dressing. I imagine I will get sick of it, but right now it’s the wind beneath my wings.

The fact is, if this salad were not pre-prepared, when it came to meal time, I might not get around to making it. Kapish?

And the fact that it is not tossed and not dressed, makes it easy for picky children to pick around certain elements they don’t like.

The Fruit:

Sometimes this ends up being a fruit salad. That usually happens when all the fruit becomes suddenly over-ripe at the very same instant. Other times, I just cut up a bowl of watermelon or mango or whatever is ready. Again, if it weren’t chopped and chilled in it’s nice bowl, do you think it would get served quite so easily?

My dears, doing salad and fruit prep in the morning before I go to the gym, is making it possible for me and my family to eat healthy this summer. If it sounds to you like “Oh woe! That is too much chopping in the morning!”, I promise it takes 20 minutes and is one of those things you will thank yourself for later in the day. You could also do it at night before you go to bed if that’s how you roll.

Be strong and chop on.

The Smoothies:

At some point during the day, smoothies get made. This is usually our afternoon snack. Getting up pre-dawn means I’m ready for bed at 4pm. That won’t do so I have been making this Coffee Frappe to perk me up:

Coffee Frappe

1 frozen banana

1 date, pitted

1 tsp espresso powder (cafe shahor if you must know the truth)

1 Tbsp ground flaxseeds

1 1/2 cups water

Blend all until smooth and creamy. Drink and wake up.

The kids’ smoothies are usually more like banana-flax-peanut butter-dates-and cocoa powder affairs.

The Entrees:

Basically whatever you see on this blog is what ends up on the lunch and dinner table. (Recipe Index HERE). But in the spirit of keeping it simple, I can tell you there are sandwiches and quesadillas or burritos normally for lunch and that dinner is a more organized cooked food deal with some sort of casserole, noodle/pasta dish, or bean/grain dish. Plus the salad and the fruit at both meals. Sometimes I pick up a really fresh bread at the bakery near my gym and center the meal around that with veggie dips and spreads.

Keep it simple sweetie! This is not the time for long, slow cooked meals that heat up the house and make you cranky.

One final tip: I am using Pinterest for meal planning A LOT. I have gone ahead and re-arranged my boards for different dishes, courses and cooking tips. It is truly a thing of beauty. I am on there every day and am cooking so many new and interesting things. You can see and follow along HERE.

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Filed Under: beans, coaching exercises, health coach, My Favorite Posts, Picky Eaters, Pinterest, Recommendations, salad, vegan, What Was For Dinner Tonight Tagged With: Getting Kids to Eat Healthy, Picky Eaters, Pinterest

Non-Negotiable

May 23, 2011 by Emily Segal 9 Comments

Update: It has come to my attention that “bonk” means something entirely different in the Queen’s English. In Americano, it means to hit a wall or run out of steam in a very dramatic fashion. Dirty minds ya’ll have over there!

Since the race, my running has been suffering. I keep bonking mid-run. I set out to do… I don’t know… a 10K say, but after 3K or 5, I decide to walk.

The official excuse is that it’s become too hot and I don’t perform well in the heat.

But the REAL reason, is that Running has become Negotiable.

And the reason I want to discuss this today is because I listen to people negotiating with their goals every single day and you know what? They get NOWHERE. It’s mid-goal bonk all over the place.

Think about a goal you have right now, one you’re not making much progress on. Perhaps it’s weight loss, or healthy eating, or exercise, or even some career or personal growth goal. Every day you start with the best intentions, “I’m going to do this thing! I AM.” But by the end of the day you’re scratching your head and wondering why once more, you bonked. You derailed, your train went right off the tracks AGAIN, and you’re kicking yourself and wondering WHY in Heaven’s name, a smart person like you cannot seem to get this done?

Why? Let’s break it down: When you started the day, your motivation was high. But at some point you got distracted, or tired or you just plain forgot why that goal was so important in the first place. In other words, you started to negotiate. ”Today’s too hot. I’m too tired. I need to get more sleep to be able to do this. Things are too stressful right now. I’ll start again on Sunday. What’s one more day when I’ve been living like this for so many years…?”

When the negotiations start, I can tell you right now, you’re gonna lose. It’s not that the other side is stronger, it’s that you showed weakness in your willingness to negotiate in the first place. A chink in the armor is all it takes. Your doubts, fears, excuses, fatigue, and overwhelm all come rushing in and THEY. WILL. TAKE. YOU. DOWN.

This morning I set out on my run and right away, all the monkeys started their jabbering. They didn’t even wait their usual 3K! ”It’s too hot. You’ll get heat stroke, and pass out, maybe even hit your head and DIE! Besides, what difference does it make? Walking is as good as running. Running isn’t doing anything for you now anyway. Your next race isn’t for 10 months so it’s too early to start training. You’ll burn out and get some sort of horrible incurable disease. ” Blah, blah, blah and on and on and on.

But today I remembered that I do not negotiate with monkeys. Period.

I turned off my music and addressed those little mfers head on: ”Hey Monkeys! Yeah you. Today I am running a 10K. This is non-negotiable. I don’t give a flying fork if I pass out from heat exhaustion or catch Ebola or lose my shorts. 10K will be run. It will be run by ME because I can and because I need to.

(Did you catch that last part? Remember your Big Why? If not, go back and read that post, because without it, honestly you’ll forget why your goal is so important in the first place.)

I did run that 10K and then I ran another K, just because I could.

So remember, when the monkeys call you up today and say they want to start negotiations, all you have to say is No Negotiations. Etched in Stone. Solid as Steel. My Way or the Highway. In the face of your determination, they will likely choose the highway.

I was told that the folks who get these posts by email can’t see the videos I post. So if you want to see the Bodacious Boss say what I just said but way, way better, click the post name in your email to visit the actual blog:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-YMRbh0OqM

Filed Under: coaching exercises, Exercise, Goals, health coach, Inspiration, My Favorite Posts, Rants, Running Tagged With: Achievement, Exercise, Goals, Self-Improvement, Success

Confession: I was a Picky Eater

November 4, 2010 by Emily Segal 4 Comments

My friend Christy wrote me that lovely comment about what a great mom I am, cooking my kids all this home-made food, and well, I’ve got to come clean: When I excitedly announced to my family that I had joined Vegan MoFo….

…they GROANED. Collectively.

And just last week in fact, before this Vegan MoFo business even began, my husband whined pathetically that I don’t cook enough “Dude Food”.

So although it might look all Happy Healthy Homemaker from the outside, I’ve got the same problems as the rest of you. I’m just really good at ignoring them.

But seriously, “how to get the kids/partner to eat healthy foods” is a question that comes up a lot with coaching clients. So let’s talk it through.

Many of you have already heard this story, but my mother says that my first word was Pop-Tart! My love of junk food and all things processed and packaged just grew from there.

Do you remember something called “Space Food Sticks”? Mercy me, these things were a 1960′s Space-crazed version of giant tootsie rolls created to fuel us young astronauts through our busy days of moon rock collecting. I actually became so addicted to Space Food Sticks, that my mom had to stage an intervention! I am NOT kidding. She had the entire family corroborate the lie that the company that made Space Food Sticks (Pillsbury) had gone out of business. And because I always did the grocery shopping with her, she had to constantly invent growing subterfuge to keep me from wandering down that aisle and uncovering her deception.

(I eventually did find out, and I have yet to forgive…)

My mom was a gourmet cook and ahead of her time whole-foods wise (Pop tarts and space food sticks notwithstanding). I hated everything she made and invented a name for healthy veg-filled meals: Schmuckinuck. Yes, for real. If any of my childhood friends are reading, you are surely remember this whole shmuckinuck issue.

For about 15 years I subsisted on scrambled eggs, grilled cheese and tuna fish sandwiches with the crusts cut off. The daily Schmuckinuck that appeared on our dinner table along with those objectionable bread crusts, rarely passed my lips. At age 16, when I announced I would no longer be part of the animal cruelty machine and was from here on out Vegetarian, my mother chuckled and said “OK, good luck with that.” The only vegetables I ate at the time were tomatoes, corn and potatoes. PB and J became my new stand-by, although my discrimination of bread crusts continued. Yet through all my pickiness and food-stage-weirdness, my mom kept cooking the healthy stuff and I got pretty used to seeing it there on the table. Only now do I understand that this was Brain Washing.

So what’s the point of all this? I just want to encourage you to keep cooking healthy meals despite your kids’ grumbling. They’ll survive and may end up coming around eventually and be Schmuckinuck lovers just like me! But if you NEVER introduce them to healthy food, then they don’t stand a chance as adults. I’d say that about 90% of my clients never ate veggies, not as kids and not as adults. And now they’re sick and overweight with 40 years of food habits to change. Think of yourself as Jaimie Oliver and step forth boldly and with humor, involving the kids in your healthy kitchen experiments. Tell them you’re afraid of Brussels Sprouts too, but you’ll try them if they will. Then make edible green sprout snowmen and bite their heads off.

At the same time, keep up a steady stream of grilled cheese, PB and J, and tuna fish sandwiches with the crusts cut off. You have to make some concessions to prevent all out rebellion. Case in point: Yesterday was my husband’s birthday and I made him a Flan. Eggs, butter, milk, sugar. I am not veganizing it because I don’t want to be divorced. Or murdered.

Vegans, avert your eyes!

Birthday Flan (NOT Vegan)

But I’m also made this:

Egg-less Egg Salad (with the crusts cut off for old times sake)

THIS is Vegan!

Egg-less Egg Salad
1 container firm tofu, drained and crumbled with your hands
2-3 T vegan mayonnaise
1 T mustard
1 tsp turmeric
salt and pepper to taste
Mix it all up. Easier than egg salad and just as tasty!

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Filed Under: health coach, My Favorite Posts, Recipes, Recommendations, Vegan MoFo, What Was For Dinner Tonight Tagged With: Getting Kids to Eat Healthy, Picky Eaters

The Wall

October 10, 2010 by Emily Segal 4 Comments

I want to start today’s post with a clip from one of my all-time favorite movies, Run Fat Boy Run.

In the clip, you see our hero Dennis trying to finish a marathon, injured, dejected, out of shape and pretty hopeless. He’s been running away from responsibility all his life – taking the easy way out – and this race represents his attempt to take a new direction. With 9 miles left, he “hits the wall”, that famous brick obstacle we hear about in connection with endurance events. As Dennis stares up at this seemingly unsurmountable obstacle in his path, he is overwhelmed by hopelessness and besieged by all the voices, real and imagined, telling him that he has always been and will always be, a loser.

There are 2 things I really love about this clip:
1. Only Dennis can see the wall. Everyone else sees a free and clear roadway ahead of him.
2. A brick falls out of the wall and Dennis sees himself on the other side waving and encouraging him forward.

When I was in nutrition school we were told “Clients come to you because they are trapped in their story. You, as the counselor, need to find a way to help them see that it’s just a story and that they can re-write it any way they choose”. We all have our stories – the ones we tell ourselves and the ones others have told about us, telling us who we are. The problem is that we don’t see that they are just stories. We think they are real and permanent. We often mistake a Story for a Wall.

Yet, when I sit there listening to the client tell her story, I see a free and clear roadway in the place where my client sees a wall. I then offer the client my perspective. I tell her that the wall in front of her is made of paper, not bricks and all she has to do is blow it over gently and walk right on through.

Some people see it right away. They are able to see that it was just a fiction they were stuck on, or just a habit that they mistook for a truth. They say “Oh! Why was I making such a big deal about that? Thanks!” I do a victory dance and feel like the best coach in the world.

But other people don’t see it or don’t believe, or don’t WANT to, I’m never sure. Some folks really like their story and they have become so comfortable with their wall that they know every brick and every crack in the mortar. There is no way in heck they are moving through it. It seems crazy that someone would hire me because they want to make changes in their life but then be unwilling to actually make any changes in their life – but truly it happens!

In total honesty, I did it myself a bunch of times before I was ready to knock my own walls down. For one, I had totally bought the story that yo-yo dieting had wrecked my metabolism. That was my Wall and my reason why I could not lose weight permanently. Then my coach said to me “Do you KNOW this for a fact? Have you ever had your metabolism checked? Because the fact is that overweight people have FASTER metabolisms than smaller people from carrying around so much more weight for so many years.”

Wow, I never though of it like that before. So if it’s not my metabolism holding me back, it must be… hey, the road ahead of me is free and clear of obstacles! Ta-Da..

So I want to offer you a different perspective today and it’s this:

Our walls are the boundaries of our comfort zones. They are the white picket fences around our familiar, known present. We know that the thing we desire is “out THERE” but are not sure it’s safe to leave the gate and cross that Interstate running through our front yard. I mean, what if we get flattened by a speeding semi?

It IS scary. They don’t call it a “comfort zone” for nothing! Now imagine stepping out there with a trusted supportive coach holding your hand, preferably one who has already crossed this road and emerged unscathed on the other side.

That’s what I do. I am the chaperon and tour guide on the bus pulling out of Struggle on it’s way to Achievement. The ride can go as slow or as fast as the client wishes, but she has to get ON the bus first!

So, that insurmountable-seeming wall blocking your way? I am here to tell you that YOU are the only one who can even see it! The road ahead of you is in fact, free and clear as far as the eye can see.

Now, how do you feel when you hear me say that? Do you start in with all this mental chatter that goes “But, but, but…You don’t know me! You don’t know my problems! My problems and obstacles are worse than anyone else’s. Things are not as simple as you make it!” Yeah? Something like that? OK, so you’re right then. Don’t call me. I can’t help you when you are not willing to board the bus.

But if you read what I wrote and thought “I would like to believe that but am just afraid, skeptical, sad, beaten, all-alone, insecure, or hurt” then hon, you could use a great coach to stand behind you and say “Yes, you can and I’ve got your back”.

Your wall is just your story, your picket fence, your safety helmet, your doubts and fears. Knock it down and come out to play!

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Filed Under: coaching exercises, health coach, My Favorite Posts, Positive Thinking, weight loss Tagged With: Achievement, Goals, Self-Improvement, weight loss

Exercise Schmexercise

July 25, 2010 by Emily Segal 5 Comments

Sweaty post-run game face!

Believe it or not, I have always been a fairly active person. I started modern dance classes at the age of about 5 or 6 and have continued that my entire life. I ran track in elementary and middle school. I went to summer gymnastics camp and was on the gymnastics team through 9th grade when I switched to drill team in the marching band. Maybe I was the chubbiest kid on the team or whatever, but I still participated and had a great time doing so.

You know, people have many different reactions to the events of September 11th. One of my clients said that on 9/11 she figured that since we clearly have no control over our future, we may as well eat as much as we want. That’s one way of looking at it, but I had the opposite reaction. I lived in NY on 9/11 and knew people who literally ran for their lives. They climbed down 80 flights of stairs, they carried injured people in their arms, they ran an all-out sprint as Hell came down on their heads. As I sat there listening to the survivors tell their stories, I felt my heart turn to ice. I was a 220lb diabetic. I would not have been able to run away. No one would have been able to carry me either.

When I decided it was time to lose weight several months after that event, I could barely walk to the mailbox and back. I began by walking in place during tv commercials. That was exhausting and embarrassing. But I stuck with it. After awhile I began to walk outside, then slowly added jogging, and 18 months later, here’s me still smiling after 2 hours and 13.1 miles!

When I crossed the finish line, I happened to be all alone because I was miles behind most everyone else and my son shouted in wonder “Mommy, you WON!”

During my run this morning, I began formulating this post and decided to tell you WHY exercise rocks and why you should be doing it if you’re not already. And yes, this list is in order of importance:

1. Endorphins
I’m an endorphin junkie. I admit it. Some of us are born like this. And if I hadn’t gotten a D in Neuropsychology I would be able to tell you why. (And a mercy D at that due to the fortunate nepotistic fact that the professor had been a doctoral student of my Dad’s and he just couldn’t believe I was quite that stupid.)

I work out, I get high. Simple as that. True, I could eat a box of cookies and achieve the same effect, but exercise makes my butt look good and cookies don’t. My sneakers are the hypodermic needles and the road is my juice.

If you’re the type who has other addictions, ie to food, you are likely to be the type who will get an endorphin high from exercise. Want to know how I bring it on? I work really hard and get out of breath and then I slow my breathing way down. Two or three deep breaths and I’m singing The Carpenters at the top of my lungs and blubbering over the beauty of the world.

2. There are good looking guys at the gym
Yes, I am this shallow. I’m also happily married, but hey, I’m not dead. Super fit women are inspiring too, but unfortunately, they’re a rarity. So see, it’s not a perverted sex thing. I just am heavily inspired by the well-taken care of human body at it’s peak of fitness and beauty. You are too, no use denying it.

3. I get to eat more
Simple math equation: Expend alot of calories and you can eat them back and still be in caloric deficit. I could never fit cake into my life without gaining if I wasn’t regularly working out. I like cake.

4. Me Time
Sixty glorious minutes without mommy this and honey that. MY favorite music blasting in my ears and no one complaining that South Pacific is totally lame. One hour to get lost in my daydreams of being caught in the middle of that Twilight love triangle… Did I say that out loud?

5. Problem Solving
Every idea I have EVER had in my life, has come to me during a run. I can sit in front of this computer for HOURS of mind-numbing writer’s block or stuck on some stubborn problem but 10 minutes into a run I am having breakthrough after breakthrough. Getting married, going back to school, moving to Israel, having babies… blame it all on the Nikes.

6. The Regular Stuff
Strong heart, low blood pressure and cholesterol, good blood sugar, lubricated joints, flexible muscles, depression banished, body trim and toned, skin firm and smooth, confidence built, pride activated, and if I need to outrun anything, the knowledge that I CAN.

7. It’s fun
If it’s not fun, you’re doing the wrong kind of exercise. You will be working out for the rest of your life so it’d better be a good time…

See, I told you there are cute guys at the gym!

OMG, if he sees this I’m dead.

You should see him in his spinning shorts!

Run, Walk, Swim, Bike, Spin, Dance, Tennis, Golf, Basketball, Soccer, Ski, Skate, Lift Weights, Stretch, Yoga, Jump-rope, Kettle Bells, Body Weight Exercise, Pilates… SO many choices. Don’t let me catch you saying “But I don’t LIKE exercise!” There’s got to be something you at least don’t hate.

A man’s health can be judged by which he takes two at a time – pills or stairs. ~Joan Welsh

The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, “If we’re going to charge $10 an hour, we can’t call it jumping up and down.” ~Rita Rudner

If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise. ~Author Unknown

My always ready, not fat, running partner.

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Filed Under: coaching exercises, Exercise, Goals, health coach, Inspiration, My Favorite Posts, Positive Thinking, Primary Food, Running, weight loss Tagged With: Achievement, Dieting vs Lifestyle, Goals, Self-Improvement, Success, weight loss

How Fear Stops Weight Loss

June 3, 2010 by Emily Segal 3 Comments

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” -Franklin Delano Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933

So to quickly recap the last 2 posts, (here and here):

1. Step One: Accept FULL Responsibility
Understand on a deep and complete level that how you look and feel at this very moment is TOTALLY the result of your day-to-day thoughts, actions and habits. You are not over-weight because of your slow metabolism, or your thyroid, or your sugar addiction or your eating disorder, but rather because of how you behave in the FACE of those problems. Each of those very real problems, has a solution. There is help readily available to get you past those and any other weight-related issue. If you are still allowing those or any other issue to stop you, then you are not fully taking responsibility and do not completely see the connection between what you do and what you get as a result.

If you are saying “but, but, but…” stay here and keep working. There is nothing wrong with you and you are not “bad”! You are just here at this stage, that’s all. If you try to jump into action from this stage you will probably end up doing the Yo-Yo Dance. Keep working here until you make the connection (ie, blammo).

(If you get it but need help finding the solutions, that’s what I’m here for. Email me and make an appointment: Emily@TriumphWellness.com)

2. Step Two: Find Your Big Why
Motivation. Why do you want to change and why do you not want to change? What is your big”Why”? Is your “Why” exciting enough to carry you past the obstacles or will you crumble the moment you hit resistance?

If you are one of the many who say “I know what I need to do and I know why I want to do it, but I just don’t do it” then you need to spend some time working in step two. Changing long-held habits and beliefs takes strong, unwavering effort. If you don’t want it badly enough, hang out here working on this until you do. When I have clients stuck at this place I try to get them emotionally aroused about the situation. I take them through a meditation that zooms them out through the years so they can feel what it will be like 5, 10, 20 years down the road of no change. It’s a little ow-ey but it usually works.

Sometimes you just need a hand at this stage with implementation, consistency and accountability. Maybe you are stuck on meal planning, organization, finding the time to get it all done, finding healthy food you actually like to eat, or exercise you actually like to do. Or maybe your sugar/food addiction is really kicking your butt and you could use some extra-strength Fighter Power. Again, that’s what I do. Email me or hire a coach or get a buddy, whatever.

So, how about this scenario: You totally understand the connection between behavior and result, you have a totally scintillating “why” and are all jazzed up and ready to change your life…. and then… you don’t. What the heck could be wrong now?! Please meet…

3. Step Three: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Face the FEAR. Friends, it is called a “Comfort Zone” for a reason. Stepping out of it is downright frickin fracken uncomfortable. Go re-read that FDR quote up there: fear is “…terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

Are ya just plain scared out of your wits? Heck yes! I know I am most of the time.

This is starting to sound like an ad for 1-800-CALL-ME, but seriously, having someone to stand in that fear with you, to keep whispering in your ear ”I know you can do it”, well, it can make all the difference. I mean, how many of us would have gotten through child-birth, the single most scary thing in the world, without a helpful nurse, midwife, spouse, partner, mother, friend? No one expects us to go it alone where birthing babies is concerned, but we isolate ourselves when birthing our dreams. Why is that?

There are generally two kinds of fear at this stage: Fear of Failure and believe it or not, Fear of Success.

The first one is pretty obvious. If you are like most people, you have already failed at this a bunch of times and the thought of failing again doesn’t exactly inspire action. Ask yourself “what’s the worst thing that can I happen” and you will hear answers like “I will end up even fatter.” or “I cannot bear the heart-break of losing this weight only to gain it back again.”

Yup, it sure is safer to stay put. Nothing ventured, nothing lost. This is the point where I myself was trying the chunky necklaces and colorful neck scarves, remember?

Do you hear that little voice whispering “not me, not me, not me”? Listen closely and see if you can hear it? There’s always my pal Tony Robbins to help with this one…

The fear of success is more subtle. I mean, what if you DO succeed at weight loss? What if you get to your goal weight? Can you handle it? People are going to look at you differently, people you don’t even know are going to treat you differently (yes, they will!). If your weight has been your main problem for 30 years and then the problem is solved, are you going to be able to cope with that vacuum? If you have always seen yourself as fat and un-sexy, how are you going to feel when guys check you out, approach you, whistle at you?

A lot of women I meet have gained their weight following a sexual assault or experience, or a frightening illness, or a traumatic event. The fat has been their security blanket. They are about as willing to drop the blanket as a 2-year old is to drop that tattered scrap he clings to. One of my mentors used to say that taking off the fat suit is like standing in front of a giant fan with no skin on. Not for the faint of heart.

Well, the funny thing about Fear is that it’s only scary until we face it. Face Fear down and it’ll turn tail and run home crying to it’s mama. The only way out of this one is THROUGH. Maybe it’s time to pull on your big girls pants, take a deep breath and give your fears the what-for.

You can do it! You can do it! YOU. CAN. DO. IT.

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Filed Under: coaching exercises, health coach, Inspiration, My Favorite Posts, Positive Thinking, weight loss Tagged With: Achievement, Dieting vs Lifestyle, Obesity, Overweight, Self-Improvement, Success, weight loss

My Weight Loss Story (What Was Blammo?)

May 31, 2010 by Emily Segal 14 Comments

I received a lot of questions about yesterday’s blog post:

1. When did Blammo happen?
2. How did it happen?
3. What was it exactly that you did then that you hadn’t been doing before?

I can tell you exactly when, where, and what my Blammo were because that day is etched quite clearly in my brain. Sit down little children and granny will tell you a story:

220lbs. Leftover Gestational Diabetes that has taken on a life of it’s own long after the baby has left the body. Lots of binging on sugar. Lots of Emotional Eating. Although I knew I was really fat, I couldn’t really understand what everyone else was making such a fuss over? Did I really look THAT different?

But what could I do? Every time I tried to diet I would end up binging even more and getting even fatter so I knew that was no solution. Exercise wasn’t really an option because everything hurt. I had plantar fascitis in my feet, my knees and hips were always sore, I had the cardio capacity of a marshmallow.

The dialogue in my head went something like this:
“I am too tired to fight this anymore. Nothing works. Seeing as I have been some degree of over-weight almost my entire life, maybe this is just how my body is? Maybe I am fighting a useless battle? I will always be big, so maybe it is time to accept that and make the best of it.”

I did not know it then, but I had just hit rock bottom. Rock bottom doesn’t always feel bad. Actually I felt pretty good at that moment of surrender. Like when suicidal people finally set a date for their suicide and their loved ones later report how happy they seemed in the days that led up to their deaths.

It turns out that Surrender is the KEY here actually to what was about to happen. When you Surrender, your defenses go down. When your walls are down you can hear things that maybe you were unable to hear before.

I went off to the Library. As far as I am concerned, The Library contains all the answers anyone could ever seek. That day, I was looking for books on Fat Acceptance. If I was going to be fat, heck yeah, I would do it in style. I sat there pouring over pictures of smiling overweight models in chunky necklaces and brightly colored scarves and wondering if there was anyone in the world who really believed that “drawing the eye upwards” could disguise the fact that 200lbs lurked below the neck.

A growing sense of discomfort was stirring in my soul. This little tiny voice was whispering “not-me-not-me-not-me….”

I scooped the books up intending to check them out for a closer look at home. On the way to the circulation desk, something drew me aside to the Self-Help section. Tony Robbins was leering out from the cover of his latest book. I chuckled and thought “do people really read that stuff?” My hand is reaching for it, I am opening it, I flip randomly to a page and feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Find an empty carrel, drop the fat books in a heap, take out a sheet of paper and a pen and start working through an exercise called “who do I want to be” or some such.

For about an hour I wrote who I want to be. I wrote about how I wanted to look, what sort of things I wanted to do with my life, and what I thought was my place in the world. Then Tony asked “What is stopping you?” Well, I’m fat, I binge, I can’t control my sugar intake, I am obsessed with eating and dieting.

Tony: Is it a good trade? Are the choices you are making BETTER than the reality you are trading them for?

Blammo, to me, felt like Tony Robbins whacking me upside the head with a plank of wood.

Tony snuck his cheesy, inspirational self into my brain precisely at that moment when my defenses were down. I could see clearly for the first time ever that the CHOICES and HABITS I engaged in on a daily basis were bringing me the opposite result of ALL the things in the world I ever wanted. Changing the behavior would change the outcome. I had heard this a million times before but this was the first time I really got it: Was I going to lay down and accept defeat and live the next 60 years being this stranger hiding behind chunky necklaces, or was I going to fight for the person who lives inside of me who is full of beauty and life and has awesome, fun, exciting things to do in this world? Not that fat people can’t be beautiful or have great lives, I just knew that I, as a fat person, wouldn’t.

Here’s what happened next: The HOW didn’t matter anymore because I had a WHY. Karen Knowler calls this “Your Big Why” and says that no goal can be reached without one. In all my past attempts I had focused all my energy on the “How”: lists of good vs bad foods, how many calories would I need to take in and how many would I need to burn, should I mix carbs with protein, eat low-carb, eat low-fat, dairy-free or dairy-rich, raw, vegan, atkins, south beach…. that’s all “How” stuff, it doesn’t really matter and it can take you off course.

“Why” trumps “How”. “Why” clears the deck, shows you the path, put blinders on the sides of your vision to eliminate distractions, and kicks boulders out of the way. “Why” is different for every person and will be different at different times of one’s life. Again, to paraphrase Karen Knowler, your “Why” has to be big enough and juicy enough to give you goosebumps and make you want to RUN to it in an all-out sprint.

One more example: If you are operating on “How”, when someone passes a plate of your favorite food you think “Arg! I wish I could have that! I am so deprived all the time, it’s not fair, I deserve to have some fun too! waaaah!” All the pleasure is in that FOOD and all the pain is in saying No. That. Is. Hard.

When your super exciting “WHY” is in charge and that plate of favorites comes around, you say “No the F-k Way!” (sorry, but my “Why” swears like a sailor) “What I am working for is so much more delicious and wonderful than that food could ever taste that I am not even tempted. Be gone with you Dream Stealing Cupcake!” and you are so happy that you want to dance around like a Pussycat Doll singing “hahaha…hahaha”

I “why-ed” myself all the way down to my goal weight and then I stayed there. It’s been over 10 years. That long, exhausting battle has been won. Sometimes I still have to win little battles, but mostly, peace with food is mine at long last.

This post describes the process I take clients through in a 3-month health program. Sure we talk about brown rice and spinach, but I know that for most people that’s the “How” stuff. It sure can help, but more important is helping them eek out their delectable ”Why.” From there, the How is easy!

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Filed Under: coaching exercises, Goals, Growth, health coach, Inspiration, My Favorite Posts, Positive Thinking, weight loss Tagged With: Achievement, Dieting vs Lifestyle, Goals, Obesity, Overweight, Self-Improvement, Success, weight loss

Step One: Shifting Mindset

May 30, 2010 by Emily Segal 9 Comments

Yesterday I finished reading The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. It got me thinking. The story, basically, is about an extremely dysfunctional family: parents who are unfit to parent, and their kids who could have followed in their depressing legacy of alcoholism, poverty, and hopelessness, but instead rose up and built adult lives of achievement and financial security.

I adore stories of people over-coming the odds. I always root for the underdog. I am utterly captivated and fascinated by the process whereby one decides to push past the barriers and accomplish the seemingly impossible. I am totally obsessed with it, if you want to know the truth.

Lucky for me, it’s also my job.

Day after day, I meet women who have been trying all of their lives to reduce their size and become the slim woman they dream of. Not just slim of course, but also at peace with food, no longer hungry, no longer obsessed, no longer enslaved by cycles of starving and binging. These women have been working on this ONE unaccomplished goal for 15, 20, 40 or even 50 years. They have met with so much other achievement in life – phenomenal careers, the raising of amazing children, over-coming heartbreak, disease, financial crumble – and yet this one goal of SLIM has never been reached. Or, even sadder, it has been reached briefly and then lost again. Those woman forever cling to the memories of that brief shining moment when they were who they always wanted to be.

By the time they come to me, most women have usually tried a million diets and workout plans, some sensible, some crazy, each one going to be THE THING that will finally bring them what they want.

And it’s not like they didn’t try! Holy cow, these are the strongest, bravest, most tenacious and stubborn women you will ever meet! They work their asses off in pursuit of this one single all-consuming goal. But it evades them time after time.

I often hear them say “I am so frustrated by this, I could just scream!” or “I just do not have the strength to give this one more try.”

I get it. I know this pain too. I have been there too. I screamed and cried and pounded my fists and pleaded with The Creator to please let me have this one thing I wanted so badly from the time I was 16 years old and chubbier than the rest of the girls.

And one day, seemingly out of the blue, I turned it around for myself. One day “blammo” it all became clear and all I had to do was walk the walk. Everything else fell away and step by step I walked all the way to my goal and stayed there.

But why? What made me have “blammo” and why don’t some other people have it? Why do some of my clients sit across from me and I watch quite literally as their entire expression changes and they take this big deep breath and say ”I get it. I’m going to be OK now” and suddenly all the power they were using on the “battle” gets channeled into the success? Yet others sadly go on struggling and fighting and doing the one-step-forward-one-step-back dance?

I wish I knew. If I knew the answer to this question, I would bestow it on the world for all to share. I study the question constantly. I read book after book on the psychology of achievement and motivation, I pick the brains of my clients who have gotten it. I ask “What was it that finally got through to you?” and they all say “I don’t know.” which is what I say too.

For a long time, I was obsessed with survival literature. You know, stories of the folks who get lost in the wilderness or in a disaster and some live and some die. In the fascinating book Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies and Why by Laurence Gonzales, the author puts forth that there is some internal survival mechanism that only about 10% of the population seem to possess. They do not see Death as an Option.

They do not see Death as an Option.

I did not see Fat as an Option.

I looked in the mirror and said “NO! This isn’t me. This is not my life and I don’t care how hard I have to work and how long it might take, I will never, ever, EVER give up, give in, or accept a different conclusion than the one I seek.”

Blammo.

When the chips are down. When it feels as though the entire world is against you. When you have failed a billion trillion times. When you think you have no strength left. When you feel so humiliated you can’t even look yourself in the eye. When you are lost at sea in a tiny life boat. Will you be the one to accept the fate that seems inevitable? Or will you be the one to scrape your own guts off the pavement, stand up and say “NO, I am not finished yet.”

Image: The Institute for Integrative Nutrition

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Meal Planning 101

January 13, 2010 by Emily Segal 3 Comments

“A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.”

- Elsa Schiaprelli

Today I want to address the question I get most often in email:

“How do you have the time to cook all that?”

OK, so now you will get to know me for what I truly am: An Organizational Geek. My mask is off and my true Fly Lady training has been revealed. I am not one of those people who can fly into the kitchen at 5:45pm, look at what is available and throw together an amazing meal. And because I am not willing to call in take-out very often and I do my best to avoid packaged, processed foods, I have got to have a Plan. Stan.

It all starts will a menu of the family favorites. I took some time one day and typed up about 3 pages of vegetarian meals, animal meals, soups, salads, dressings, sides, and desserts which at some point in time someone at the table said “Not Bad, Mom.” It’s in my Kitchen Control Journal along with the relevant recipes.

(Shameless Plug: Clients in my Family Nutrition Program are guided through a process of creating their very own Kitchen Control Journals. This madness can be yours too!)

Step two is sitting down once a week, usually a Thursday, sometimes a Saturday night (hot social life that I have) and planning out what we will eat more or less for every single meal and snack. I take ideas from the family favorites list and also from one or two cookbooks that I rotate each week or so. I sit with the date book in front of me so I can see which nights different family members have sports, or meetings, or classes or whatever, and I plan accordingly.

That gives me a plan that looks like this. You can download a blank version for yourself for free HERE.

Sure, things change and I cross things out, or move them forward. But having the basic plan gives me peace of mind. I am a regular mom, wife, chief cook and bottle-washer who happens to be running her own business as well. I don’t think I have any more time or less time than anyone else. I can honestly say that I am rarely in the kitchen for more than an hour or two a day and that’s cooking 3 meals and a fresh snack each day and cleaning up as well. I don’t cook complicated things very often. We eat leftovers quite a lot. I work quickly. I’ve had a lot of practice. The kids are put to work too because I want them to know how to cook when they’re off on their own.

That said, I’m not perfect. Sometimes we still fall back on pizza or falafel. Sometimes I make things that turn out really awful and we have to eat bread and hummus. I’m just doing my best to eat healthy and feed my family healthy things. If my kids come to your house and eat nothing but potato chips,hot dogs, soda and cake, you don’t need to gleefully report that to me. They’re normal children. I know they love junk food as much as the next person. How they eat outside of the house is not for me to control. I do my best to feed them well at home, to teach them about nutrition and cooking and to not make too big a deal about “forbidden foods” or whatever.

Your blank meal planning template HERE!