Love | Triumph Wellness

Leave Yourself Room to Grow

March 11, 2013 by Emily Segal 9 Comments

The first part of this post is going to be a running update but then I’ll be discussing something more universal and IMPORTANT. So hang with me for a minute even if you aren’t into the running stuff.

Here I am, 4 days from the half marathon that is the culmination of 22 weeks of dedicated training. Sadly, the weather report has predicted unseasonably high temps in the 90′s. The race has been pushed forward half an hour to try to reduce the inevitable weather related injuries that are going to occur and we runners are being urged to give up on our time goals, leave our Garmins at home, walk through all aid stations while drinking, take salt tabs, and focus on crossing the finish line NOT on a stretcher. This is more than a little disappointing to the thousands of us who have prepared so long for this day, but there’s nothing anyone can do about the weather.

But even before this weather news broke, I had come to a decision – This will be my last endurance sporting event. 10K’s yes, but longer than that, no. I have LOVED being an endurance athlete. I have adored the preparation, the step-by-step achievement of small goals and then larger ones, and every single lesson each training period and race has taught me. Many races have taught me about perseverance and the depth of my strength. Others have taught me humility. They have ALL taught me to trust in G-d that whatever I truly need is delivered right when I truly need it.

So why would I give it up? Well, the lesson this training period has taught me, is that sometimes, even when you love something, you need to move on.

Long-distance training aggravates a health issue I have. Simple as that. When I get above 35km/week I start suffering in ways that blacken and char every single aspect of my life. I am simply not willing to live this way anymore. I did my absolute best to ensure that this would not happen again this year: professional guidance, the very best nutrition and supplements, more rest, better training. But I still did not escape. One more long run on Friday, and then I’m done. It’s time to move on and find a new sports hobby I will love and that will love me back.

The important take-away here is that those of us who are on a committed path of self-improvement, MUST leave room for growth! And when we are working really hard on ourselves every day, growth can happen so rapidly, we must be prepared to quickly shed our skin OR we will be choked by self-sabotage and stuck in a too small space where our dreams and spirit wither and die.

Recently I realized that I had painted myself into a corner in several areas of my life. I tried to delicately extricate myself from these corners but unintentionally made a painful mess, splattering paint everywhere.

Watch those corners, stay awake to your intuition, and always leave yourself room to grow. Pay close attention to when something is starting to chafe. Even if it was your favorite sweater in the whole wide world, there comes a time when you will need to let it go.

It’s scary also because you cannot know what lies beyond. What if what you had really was the best you’ll ever get?

It’s not, darling. It can’t be. The world I choose to believe in has limitless possibilities. But you will only find the new and wonderful things, if you let go of the ones you are choking to death in your sweaty, fearful grasp.

Let The %$#@ Go.

My Tel Aviv Marathon 2013 Theme Song. Every single word of this = YES

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Filed Under: Goals, Growth, health coach, Inspiration, Love, Running, Tel Aviv Half Marathon Tagged With: Achievement, Anti-Ick Techniques, Goals, Tel Aviv Marathon

When A Loved One Won’t Change

February 14, 2013 by Emily Segal 1 Comment

Subtitle: ”Why Can’t You Do This For Me, for the kids, for yourSELF?!”

Here is the Mad Libs version:

Your _____________________

(spouse / partner / sister / father / best friend / child)

Needs to____________________

(lose weight / get his blood sugar down / get her cholesterol down / stop smoking / stop drinking / wear a seat belt)

Although he/she insists it has nothing to do with you, and that your nagging is only making things worse, you feel______________________

(betrayed / angry / worried / massively betrayed)

Sound familiar, anyone? I bet it does!

Today, instead of telling you what to do from my standpoint as a health practitioner, I want to share with you the other side of the coin.

I was your spouse. I was the one who was willfully disregarding my health and my family’s future all in the name of getting my next binge. I hope that if you can see things from your loved one’s perspective, you will be able to find some peace and clarity.

Several years ago I tried eating myself into oblivion while my husband was the one to be angry about my growing body and frustrated by my resistance to change. The more he pushed and threatened me, the more I ate and the fatter I became. I truly felt that it was MY business and had nothing to do with him. I seriously resented him making it his problem, even though somewhere in the dim recesses of my mind, I kinda-sorta understood how my health and weight ultimately WOULD impact his life and the lives of our children.

I was in Stage One: Pre-Contemplation (click that link to read the post I wrote about the 5 Stages of Change). I was only dimly aware that there was some sort of a problem but feeling like I was a victim of intolerable levels of stress with food as my only lifeline. I could no sooner have given up over-eating than I could have gone without oxygen.

You can read about what advanced me from Stage One to Stage Two HERE. Basically, I finally understood that my actions were causing my outcome, plain and simple. Change my actions and I’d change the outcome. But more than that, here was this man, Tony Robbins and he had done it himself. And all the thousands of people who followed him, they were taking this kind of action in their lives. I understood for the first time that it could be done and people were doing it. I could change my story and change the way my story would end.

So this is my message to you (and when I get around to publishing that post about overweight kids it will be the same message):

Shut Up and Walk Your Own Talk.

End of story.

People do not hear what you say as much as see what you do. Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see.” You – be the change. Model the behaviors you want others to adopt. SHOW don’t say. Work on Yourself. Be the best you can be. Be Inspiring. Make the people around you WANT to reach higher. Show people what is possible.

Married folks: I realize how painful it feels for you, that your partner is betraying the agreement you made when you got married. He/she is digging an early grave and will leave you holding the bag. But go back and read the stages of change. People who are not changing likely do not believe that it is in their power to do so. No amount of screaming and threatening is going to change that.

Those Stage Oners need hope and belief. They need to come to understand that they CAN reverse their problem. They need to move from helpless victim to artful designers of their own destiny.

Model it for them and then butt out.

P.S. I am not suggesting you stay with a partner bent on self-destruction. You may decide that you need to leave a relationship in order to take care of yourself. That is modeling healthy self-care as well.

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Filed Under: coaching exercises, Growth, health coach, Inspiration, Love, Positive Thinking, Rants Tagged With: Obesity, Overweight, Self-Improvement, weight loss

Today I baked a cake

October 18, 2011 by Emily Segal 3 Comments

Due to the historic events of the day, there was no way I could write about Vegan MoFo, recipes, my back pain, marathon training, or weight loss.

Today Gilad Shalit came home. Five years ago he was kidnapped and has been held by Hamas in unknown conditions without even a peek allowed to the Red Cross. Today he is back in the arms of his family and his country. The emotion we all feel is beyond words. Yes, the deal the Israeli government had to make to win his freedom is horrible and truly disgusting. Yes, the world continues to condem my country in ways that shock me in their ignorance and unfairness.

But today, we bring our son home alive and seemingly OK. And today, that is all that matters.

The first photos we saw of Gilad stepping out of a car in Egypt were met with our collective gasp, every female in my twitter stream whispered “oh my goodness! he is so thin!” We felt it like a knife in our hearts. And sure enough, a great deal of attention on the non-stop news footage has been given to re-feeding him. We are all thinking “soon he will be at home and his mother will feed him again.”

In my work, I treat people who are not well because, in most cases, they have too much food, too many choices, too much confusion, too many calories, too much dietary fat. We live in a remarkable time in history where we actually have more than enough food to eat. It turns out that we get just as sick from too much as we do from too little. Who would have thought the balance would be so delicate?

As mothers, most of us today, are in the very lucky position of being able to fill our children’s bellies each day. We can choose to fill them with junk food, sugar and processed food. We can choose to fill them with healthy whole foods. Or we can choose a path somewhere in the middle. Yet we tend to take this abundance for granted. We grumble through that endless “whatever will I make for dinner tonight” night after night, without pausing to think how lucky we are to have such a dilemma.

For 5 years, Aviva Shalit did not have this privilege. The mothers of the other 2 soldiers in Gilad’s tank that day will never have the chance to feed their children again. Nor will the mothers of the terror victims, whose murderers were set free today. Mothers of sick children and anorexics, mothers living in poverty or in places that lack our abundance, mothers who have not been able to conceive or carry a child to term, all probably dream of what it would be like to have what we have, to put spoon to mouth, to pile food on a table. We are truly blessed.

As you face your kitchen tonight, I’d like to suggest that you stop for a moment and remember your bounty, your luck, and your privilege. I know I will. In fact, I made this:

I have never been prouder of my decision to immigrate to Israel than I was today.

Today we brought one boy home.

Today I baked him a cake.

Filed Under: dessert, Love, Primary Food Tagged With: Getting Kids to Eat Healthy, Gilad Shalit

The “Working Vacation” Failure

August 24, 2011 by Emily Segal Leave a Comment

You know, I had intended this to be a “working vacation”. I had my blog posts lined up; I’ve been talking to clients via skype; I was planning to work on the program I wanted to launch in September. But I gotta tell ya, my mind is not in the game!

I mean, I go for a jog and I run into this:

I go to the store, and I get some of this:

I open the mail, and find a pair of these:

The sun is shining and we end up here:

(and yes, I realized too late that he had made that fishing line out of poison ivy!)

There are many other things that feed our lives, aside from food. We call it primary food. A life deficient in primary food ends up relying too heavily on secondary food (the kind of food we eat to fill the void).

So, in a way, even this post is about nutrition.

Just not the kind that comes on a plate.

but even more yummy!

Filed Under: Love, Primary Food Tagged With: angels and fairies, Exercise, Travel

The Very Thing

August 15, 2011 by Emily Segal 3 Comments

Forty-five.

The number of times I have circled the sun.

The number of days other people have dedicated to making me completely happy.

The number of years that have passed since the worst day of my brother’s entire life. “You’ve got a Baby SISTER!”

23,652,000 minutes of good, bad, happy, sad, bored, loving, hating, sleeping, dancing, writing, helping, dreaming…

Today, I can tell you this:

-The very thing that makes you most frustrated in the whole world, is actually your best teacher. I know, this totally sucks. Just stop fighting it and learn already.

-The very thing about yourself you hate most of all, is the very thing someone else loves you for.

-The very thing that you can never seem to accomplish, is the exact thing you are HERE to accomplish. (Also sucky, I know, I know)

-The very thing that has caused you the most pain and suffering in your life, is the precise thing you are here to help someone else get through. Whew, take a big deep breath on that one.

-The one person you love more than anyone else in the world, is the same person you will scream and yell at the most. So, if I have screamed and yelled at you, consider yourself very loved.

-The very reason that I look younger every year instead of older, is because the treadmill makes the time go backwards.

-Halle Berry is one day older than me. Just sayin’…

-In 45 more years I might look back at what I wrote today and think it’s all a bunch of bullshit.

-One day of birthday is not even close to being enough. Therefore, I declare this entire 45th birthday year as a freakin’ awesomeness fest. Starting today.

-I wanted to make a video for my birthday, but business is booming and I had no time. Instead, I offer up this one, which is what I would have made were I an uber cool, brilliant, starving bohemian artist squatting in a tenement on the Lower East Side: ”No Day But Today” from Rent, one of the many, many things in this world that make me cry.

-Oh, and the very things that make you cry, well, they map the exact spots on your heart where the light gets in.

Enjoy…

Filed Under: Growth, Inspiration, Love Tagged With: Achievement, creativity, Self-Improvement

C’s Inspiring Story

July 6, 2011 by Emily Segal 3 Comments

I want to share with you today the amazingly inspiring words of one of my clients. I share this with her express permission of course.

First a little background: I worked with C last winter. We set up some great groundwork, finished a 3-month program and then took a break. But truthfully, I knew she hadn’t had her “Blammo” yet and I worried about it. Three-months is such a short time to work on something that has often been a many years or even life-long issue!

Luckily, we kept in touch and the wheels must have still been turning because a few months later, we had an email exchange that C claims was me “slapping her upside the head with reality” and she finally got it. Blammo.

(Now, for the record, I did not “slap” . My coaching style is kind, loving and gentle, just like me darling personality. The truth is what slaps. I was just the bringer of the Truth, in the same way Tony Robbin’s brought the truth that slapped me upside the head 10 years ago on that day in the library).

As I’ve described before, when someone just finally really GETS IT, deep down in their heart and soul, it’s like a mighty thunderclap. It is the most exciting thing to be witness to and the main reason I love my job.

From that moment on, I knew that C’s life would be different. While there can be zig-zag progress after a blammo, there is no UN-Blammoing. Once you’ve had it, it’s there for good. You can never again pretend to not know the thing you now know.

C then set herself a short-term challenge to be even MORE focused than she had been to that point. She wanted to witness for herself what kind of changes her focused intent could really bring in a one-month period. She set daily goals for herself in the area of food journaling, staying within her calorie range by eating the foods that are best for her, daily exercise, water drinking and a few other personal challenges. Whenever she met her goal for the week, I encouraged her to claim a reward decided upon beforehand. At the conclusion of her challenge, she posted the following on her blog:

“I am happy to report that I have successfully completed my 27 day Focus Like A Laser Beam personal challenge totally on target!!

I did not include a weight loss goal of any kind during this challenge because the number on the is not really within my control. What is in my control are the daily steps I take to change the number on the scale.

I did however lose about 4 pounds during this challenge (this is on top of the 8 lbs she had already lost!). More importantly I have gained strength, muscle mass, and stamina.

Possibly most importantly however, is I proved to myself that I CAN do it. Daily action steps will take me to where I want to go. 27 straight days of being very aware of my actions, the food I eat, what I drink, my body activity, and how I feel has given me a great boost of thinking “I can do this!” “I can keep going!” “It’s not that hard!”

Some of the things I learned (or re-learned):

I lose weight slowly, and that can frustrate me. Intellectually I know that I am much more fit than I was a month or two ago, but I can still let the scale number affect me. The last 27 days was a really good exercise in not worrying about the scale, but paying attention to the daily action steps over which I have control.

Weight loss goals are not motivating to me. They discourage me.

I really really really am motivated by stickers!

Music makes me move my body, and changes my attitude.

I am the one in control of my choices.

I love to feel fit and energetic. I can’t wait to lose more fat off my body and be even fitter.

I love muscles.

I learned that it is very easy to slip into “mindlessness”, even after weeks of being “mindful”.

I learned that I have the power within me to change my behavior.

I learned that motivation is contagious.

I re-learned “lifestyle” not “diet”.

One of my most important lessons, that I will need to be reminded of again and again, is that I must stay in the day I am in. I cannot overly worry about tomorrow or next week or next month. I must stay on my own mat. I must work my own plan. I cannot let the success or failures or plans or paths of others distract me from my own path and plan.

Today, right now, the next action step…those are the things I must keep my attention focused on.

Step by step, bit by bit, I move forward, make progress and eventually I will have a smaller, stronger, even more energetic body than I have right now.

I want to thank Emily Segal for being a friend, confidant, supporter, mentor and coach throughout this whole process! I so appreciate your input, wisdom and friendship.

Thanks also to M, J, and M for your support and showing me that my motivation impacts your motivation which impacts my motivation. I truly appreciate your feedback and friendship!

Okay!! Onward!”

Color me motivated baby! I am so very, very proud of you and honored to have had a part in this. Mazal Tov C and thank you so much for sharing your story!

And a reminder for all of us: the 3-month program, or even the 30-Day Detox… are just the beginning. Don’t walk away from that thinking we’re “done”. You have got to be In It To Win It. Stay in touch, keep asking questions, come back to me. Keep coming back until it’s D.O.N.E.

Filed Under: Goals, health coach, Inspiration, Love Tagged With: Achievement, Dieting vs Lifestyle, Self-Improvement, Success, weight loss

The Transformative Power of Compassion

March 25, 2011 by Emily Segal 2 Comments

I want to tell you a story today. As you know, I am knee-deep in bar mitzvah/visiting family/Half Marathon training. In addition to that, we’ve got rockets falling and buses exploding again. Living in this strange country where “life just goes on” despite things that would definitely grind the US to a halt, takes its toll on us in a deep internal way.

I spent yesterday morning flitting and flailing from thing to thing, not accomplishing much of anything, with a giant lump of emotion in the pit of my stomach: sadness, fear, agitation, anxiety and depression were my companions throughout the morning. Oh, and did I mention rainy cold weather that has interrupted my race training and exercise routine. (And we know how without exercise, I am more likely to fall prey to my negative emotions. )

When my 9-year old came home from school I barked “Take the dog out!” and off he went without me even kissing him hello-how-was-school-how-are-you. Clearly a bad state of affairs.

A few minutes later, same child bursts through the door, panicked and crying. Clinging to his sweatshirt is the tiniest, wettest, most pathetic looking little kitten I have ever seen. It is mewing wildly and trying to burrow into a warm, dry spot in his arms.

“Ima, I couldn’t just leave him there!”

We toweled the little dude off and assessed the situation. ”We have to put him back.” I said. ”His mom is probably out there looking for him.” Reluctantly we dragged ourselves back downstairs and set him in the yard where my son had found him, in the cold and the rain. We left him the towel but he climbed right out of it and into the rain frantically calling for his mom and for help. I could feel my heart literally ripping in two. My son’s grief was beyond words.

If…

If those innocent babies in Itamar hadn’t just been murdered. If 4 lbs of shrapnel hadn’t just been blown into the bodies of 40 people waiting for the bus in Jerusalem. If my friends’ kids hadn’t had to miss school today in order to sit in bomb shelters. Then maybe, maybe, I would have steeled myself with the whole “Let Nature Take It’s Course”, “Survival of the Fittest is what makes evolution work” thing and this story would have had a very different ending.

We went upstairs and listened to the kitten mewing piteously for one hour in the rain and cold. We prayed for it’s mom to return. I called my husband who ordered me to leave it outside. I spoke to my neighbors who warmed me not to touch it. I emailed my friend J in the US. J is a vet tech and specializes in the care of rescued and abandoned animals. J, the one voice of dissent said “Em, bring him inside. He might die anyway, but he deserves not to suffer.” Then I remembered my friend O, here in Kfar Saba, an animal lover like myself, who takes in strays and knows people who maybe could help.

The rest of the day was phone calls and emails back and forth, while I wrestled with my conscious and my heart. With the kitten back in the warmth of my son’s arms, we got him cleaned up and comforted. He was only quiet and calm when fully encased in my son’s warm hands:

One of the things that convinced me to take him back inside, was when my older son, the bar mitzvah boy came home. We were standing outside wringing our hands over it and L said “Ima, to leave it out here is Tzar Balei Chayim (cruelty to animals) and that is forbidden in the Torah.” I am so proud of my bar mitzvah boy who is also an amazingly compassionate young man!

We found a vet who would take care of him until a foster family could be found. While waiting for our vet appointment, our little guy, now sporting the name Lucky, fully warmed and comforted, resorted back to his natural curious kitten state and began exploring our apartment, (much to the great dismay of our Labrador Retriever, who was definitely in the “leave him outside” camp.):

Shortly before we were to leave for the vet, we heard more meowing and thinking it might be the returned mother, ran outside just in time to see a second kitten fall 2 stories from a tree and splat into the soggy ground. Miraculously, our 2nd baby (now named Nessie (miracle)), survived the fall and he too came inside to get warm and clean. The two siblings immediately clung to one another and would not part:

At the end of the day, we handed them over to a vet who will try to nurse them to health and strength, before either adopting them out or releasing them back to their streets, spayed and neutered, so at least their lives won’t continue this legacy of suffering.

The reason I am telling this story is because those few hours changed all of our lives. Where before I felt hopelessness for this world where people kill children because they are the wrong religion, now I feel a hope I cannot explain. My 9-year old, the one who started the whole saga said happily as we kissed our babies good-bye, “I will remember this day forever.”

I will too.

That got me thinking. If just a few hours of compassionate action can have this much of a positive effect, just think how a steady diet of it could affect one’s life! What a primary food! And how I have over-looked it.

Lucky and Nessie, your tiny little lives taught us a great lesson today. We wish for you a life that lives up to your names.

Now the rain has stopped and 20km of road are waiting to be massaged by my feet…

To find a Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in your Israeli town, click HERE.

To get help with animal issues like this in Kfar Saba, HERE.

Filed Under: Inspiration, Love, Primary Food, Running, Tel Aviv Half Marathon Tagged With: animal rescue

Go Shopping!

February 28, 2011 by Emily Segal 3 Comments

Firstly, a lot of you have been asking me where the food posts have disappeared to. Apparently, you are only here for the food.

Which is fine, really. And I promise I will get back to it. Honestly, although I cook for my family almost all our meals, I have sort of been unorganized about it lately. Just kind of winging it depending on whatever we have and not using recipes that I could share here.

BUT, I have been scribbling down lots of internet recipe finds and ideas and today made the most delicious EVER brownies. No really, these are better than any others I have previously posted. I will get those up here soon. And more food posts too.

But in the meantime, I promised to write about clothing, appearance and what it has to do with weight loss success:

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. ~Henry David Thoreau

Gotta love Thoreau, a tree-hugging vegetarian right up there with the best. But with the above statement, I must disagree.

Show of hands: How many people here don’t buy new clothes because you are waiting until you lose some weight? How many of you promise yourself a facial or hair cut/color as a reward ONLY if you lose some weight?

How many of you have been waiting to lose some weight for several years and have therefore not bought any new clothes, gotten a nice haircut, facial, pedicure, hair color etc, in all those years?

If you are anything like myself or the majority of my clients, there are a lot of hands in the air right now. And a lot of frumpy-dressed, dull-skinned, less than sparkly people waiting for their lives to “begin”.

If you raised your hand, I am ORDERING YOU to go to the store and buy something nice for yourself. You know why? Because you’ve got the whole thing backwards!

Allow me share my story as an example:

When I was overweight, I too told myself I was not going to buy any pretty new clothes until I lost weight. Whenever I did have to buy something for a special event or something, I made myself shop in the crappy shops and buy ugly cheap clothes because “they were just temporary anyway”.

Well, that “temporary” lasted about 15 years! When I now look back at that time and how I wasted so many years feeling ugly and wearing clothes that just confirmed these feelings of ugliness and unworth… wow, sure seems like a lot of wasted years to me!

And obviously NOT a motivator as I never did lose the weight with the promise/threat of better clothes hanging over my head.

One fine day I decided to go shopping and buy at least two outfits that looked really good on me.

The next day I got up, dressed in my new clothes and smiled at what I saw when I looked in the mirror for the first time in all those years.

That day was December 28, 2001, the day the course of my life changed forever. I didn’t binge that day for the first time in years. I was able to stay on a plan and eat my 1800 calories for the first time in a very long time. I walked in place during the commercials on my evening tv programs (that was ALL I could do!). Those sound like small achievments, but coming from where I was, it was nothing short of a miracle!

And as my story goes, one year later, I had lost 50 lbs. Two years later, 20 lbs more.

Did the weight loss success that started that day have anything to do with buying myself some nice clothes? I am not sure, but I think probably so. I think it gave me HOPE and a sense of possibility. It made me remember that I’m a person, a woman, and a perfectly acceptable and deserving one at that.

You know, it’s hard to make changes in your life when you can’t even hold your head up high.

Permanent weight loss, at it’s very core, is a process of learning to love and care for yourself. When you really love yourself, you don’t want to put junk food in your body. When you are really respectful of yourself, you will want to exercise. When you can fully accept yourself as you are right now, fat belly and all, you can finally act in your own best interests.

But doesn’t punishing ourselves motivate us to change? Doesn’t being disgusted with how we look, light a fire under our butts?

Well, does it? Has it? Is it working for you?

If yes, then rock on with the self-disgust and self-hatred and please don’t call me for help (you are doing fine on your own).

But if you are stuck trying to lose the same weight and wearing the same saggy, baggy hole-y underpants, get thee to Lane Bryant (or whatever it’s Israeli equivalent is) and dress yourself like you are worth it.

Because you are.

Filed Under: Goals, health coach, Inspiration, Love, Positive Thinking, weight loss Tagged With: Achievement, Beauty Tips, Obesity, Self-Improvement, weight loss

Why I am NOT your Guru

February 16, 2011 by Emily Segal Leave a Comment

First off, I only have the two hands…

I’ve got something stuck in my craw. Please pardon me while I try to expectorate it on my blog.

That word “Guru” gets thrown around a lot in the Nutrition/Wellness/Health/Personal Development Field of which I consider myself a part. I may have even used it myself a few times (please forgive me for that but no need to actually send me the links, ‘kay?)

I am not your Guru. I am not your friend’s Guru. I am not even my Mother’s Guru. I am not sure WHAT I am, but Guru, I am certain I am NOT.

I taught a class awhile back and one of the participants was totally hung up on that word. She talked a lot about Gurus and when she found out that other participants had come to some of my other events, she exclaimed that I must be THEIR Guru. They just sort of stared at her blankly. One said “Emily is one of a handful of teachers from who I learn about health and personal development. She’s a member of my Wellness TEAM.” I liked that.

That I can be.

Here’s the problem I see with Guru-ism: People with Gurus follow the Guru’s advice without stopping to think for themselves. ”Well, My Guru said XYZ so that’s what I will do even though maybe, for me, gee, I don’t know if that’s quite right?” But they ignore their own instincts and do the Blind Follow.

What usually happens next is that their Guru, who WOW, Happens to be Human, does something less than perfect. Then the Guru-followers are left reeling and instead of saying “Guru X taught me the following things that I can incorporate into my life.” They angrily throw everything Guru X taught -brilliant advice AND human caprice- on the top of the trash heap and stalk away in search of the next Guru to follow.

I’ll never forget when Raw Food Guru David Wolfe came out saying he eats ants for protein. He studied the chimps and that’s what they do, so he figured he’d give it a whirl. I was involved in the Rawish Veganish Thang at the time and was sitting in an audience of several hundred people in NYC’s Lincoln Center when he said it. The collective gasping intake of breath, followed by the whispers “did he just say he eats ants?!” Then later, in the days that followed, huge uproar. People split into the “Yes! Let’s Eat Ants!” Camp and the “David Wolfe is now Crazy and must be discredited” Camp. I stood in the middle and laughed my head off.

Let the man eats ants if he wants to! It doesn’t mean that I need to do that. It also doesn’t mean that all the other things he taught previous to the ant-eating are malarkey.

My friends, each of us has a mind and we can assimilate information, follow our own instincts, learn how our own bodies work best, take some things from teachers and mesh them with our own ideas. It’s all good. No one person has all the answers that will be perfect for each person.

I always get new clients who come in and say “I read your blog and love it and want to work with you but you are NOT making me a vegan!” And I want to give them a giant high five for standing up for themselves. Instead I just ask “But can you eat more vegetables?” and if the answer is yes, then we’re on.

You are Your Own Guru. Each and every one of you!

The only Guru I aspire to be is maybe this one… Guru Pitka from the tiny village of Hairinmykeister:

Filed Under: health coach, Inspiration, Love, Rants Tagged With: Dieting vs Lifestyle, Self-Improvement

The Intricate Dance of Food & Love

February 14, 2011 by Emily Segal 1 Comment

Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. -Rumi

Food and Love – the two are linked from the moment we are offered our first sip of sustenance, right after our birth. We are held securely in strong, warm arms and fill our empty tummies with warm, sweet milk. Think of the way your own babies have gazed up at you with adoration as you held breast or bottle to their lips.

As we get older, delicious food is used to mark the happiest of occasions and holidays. Birthdays mean luscious cakes. Movies together mean buttered popcorn. A precious trip to the sports stadium means hot dogs, and to the circus, cotton candy. When people are sick or in mourning we bring them home-cooked food. When we are trying to seduce, we do so over a romantic meal.

It is not surprising then, that when love is lacking, we look to food to fill the void. When passion has petered, we take our pleasure in chocolate. A tempestuous tryst with Ben and Jerry can help pass a lonely night.

However, it is impossible to fill a hole in your heart with food. The only thing that will fill that hole is Love. If there is no one to love in your life right now (or if your lover is currently being unlovable!), then start with yourself. Have a passionate love affair with that person who peers back at you in the mirror everyday. Adorn her in beautiful clothes and perfumes. Buy her flowers and then buy more when those begin to wilt. Seduce her over a home-made healthy dinner with candle-light and music. Dance with her!

Take the time to get to know yourself. Don’t be surprised if this leads to less binging, fewer cravings, weight-loss, improved health and happiness. Plus it puts you in a much better place to attract and accept the love of others.

Happy Valentines Day my beautiful readers!

Strawberries dipped in vegan chocolate-hazelnut pudding!

Decadent Chocolate Pudding
1 ½ cups hazelnut milk
3 T cornstarch
¼ cup cocoa powder
¼ cup pure maple syrup
½ tsp vanilla extract

In a medium saucepan, combine all of the ingredients except the vanilla. Whisk rapidly. Once the mixture is smooth, cook over medium heat, whisking constantly until the pudding thickens. Stir in the vanilla and mix well. Pour into individual serving bowls. Refrigerate until chilled and serve. Serves 4. Recipe adapted from Compassion Over Killing www.TryVeg.com